In this week’s episode of It’s My Desi Life! we bring you the story of a courageous mother, Ravinder Kaur, who lost her only son and yet maintained her calm and composure. Despite her personal tragedy, she is working hard to keep hope alive for others!
Thus the title of the series gets a twist for this week, and we call it Aussie-Indians – Making a Difference! In an in-depth interview with Ravinder Kaur – the founder of Rehmat Sandhu Foundation, we discuss the challenges she faced, from a bitter divorce to raising her son as a single mother in India to taking the decision to move to Australia to start a new life… and losing her son in a tragic accident that left her shattered. Yet, Ravinder found the courage to move on, especially in the quest to keep the memory of her son alive… and to do something worthwhile for the society.
Ravinder Kaur reminiscences, her marriage was not at all a fairy tale, there were issues right from the beginning. She says she did her best to make it work.
After the birth of Rehmat in 1993, Ravinder was full of joy. She loved spending most of her time with her son. Her husband wanted to go abroad for work and Ravinder was supportive of it, but never in her dreams she had imagined that her husband would prepone his ticket to Muscat and leave without letting her know.
Things became much worse when she was served with a divorce notice by her husband. The notice was prepared and given to her by her father-in-law, who was a lawyer. Ravinder was asked to leave her in-laws house.
Abandoned and left alone, she had no option but to fend for herself. Ravinder got immense support from her father and brother, but chose to work as a teacher and also as a caterer; delivering home made food to a few offices in her locality.
From humble beginnings, Ravinder managed to open her own day care and school that became quite popular in the locality and she started getting lots of work.
Around 2006, Ravinder chanced upon an education abroad seminar. She saw many people much older to her, looking for options to study abroad. Ravinder asked herself, if people much older than her can think of studying further, then why can’t she do it.
Rehmat, her son had been to a study camp in London, UK a year before, and was always asking if he can go abroad to study. Ravinder thought, this was a perfect chance for her to try and see if she can qualify to get admission and thus put in an application to take up childcare course in Australia.
Much to her delight, Ravinder received a confirmation of enrolment within a few weeks… and in a few months she packed her bags and landed in Sydney, Australia for study along with Rehmat, who also got enrolled in a school.
Source: SBS
The initial days in Sydney was full of struggle for her, getting back to study was difficult, but also living within a very limited means was challenging.
Ravinder got lot of support from her cousin brother in Sydney, who took great care of them and helped them to feel at home.
Later Ravinder and Rehmat moved to Melbourne. Rehmat picked up a job at McDonald’s when he was fourteen and started supporting Ravinder.
Ravinder states, “Rehmat and I were happy with whatever we had, we would enjoy going out together, if we did not have the money for public transport, then we would take long walks… but nevertheless make the walk enjoyable… Rehmat would also make sure that I was part of his parties and friends… often he would drag me to the parties along with him, introduce me to various Bollywood and Indian music stars. We were really happy as a family.”
Ravinder also points out that the home that they have now, was planned and built by her and Rehmat together... they both worked hard to get each and every fixtures of the house, set up things the way they wanted. It was certainly a dream home for them, which came true.
Source: SBS
Ravinder recalls the fateful evening of 5th December 2014, when Rehmat asked her if he could go for a party with his friends. She says, “When the party got over he said he would stay back at his friend’s place, I said alright, because they were staying in Southbank, which wasn’t too far. He went on the 26th floor where the flat was, he had water there, sent Snapchat to a few people. He also sent his photos of him on 26th floor... Rehmat was only there for 20-25 minutes.
"From what the boys told me, Rehmat was in the balcony and tried to sit on the railing and fell from there. I still can’t believe it. I still have these questions, that Rehmat wouldn’t have sat there and that he can’t fall from there just like that! In two seconds, our lives changed forever.”
Rehmat’s tragic accident shattered Ravinder. She lost all hope. Many of Rehmat’s friends supported and consoled Ravinder at this hour. Ravinder is grateful to all of Rehmat’s friends who supported her and till date they are there whenever she needs them.
Source: SBS
Ravinder did not want Rehmat to be forgotten. She knew that her boy had lots of dreams and aspirations.
Rehmat was spiritually inclined and his weekly chats with his maternal grandfather were insightful, as his grandfather would guide him about life and religion and human values. Rehmat was drawn towards doing something for people in need.
Ravinder started putting her thoughts together, for her home was no more than brick walls without Rehmat.
She wanted her home in Melbourne and in Jalandhar, India to be put to a better use, in memory of Rehmat.
Source: SBS Hindi
She connected with few local Indian community members in Melbourne and started working on a foundation in the memory of Rehmat. Ravinder gives credit to Jasvinder Sidhu, an academic and a community leader and few other volunteers for helping her out to make her dream a reality.
Once Rehmat Sandhu Foundation was formed, many volunteers got associated with the foundation helping with various social and community works.
Ravinder says, “We have made a Rehmat Sandhu Foundation, through which we do a lot of charity work. We do blood and organ donations. We have solved a lot of cases on domestic violence. I feel very happy to see kids happy. We have also started a widow and kids’ foundation in Rehmat’s name in India.
"We also collected a lot of clothes, toys and books, which were distributed in India. We also work with Anglicare and also work for foster care with Jasvinder Sidhu and other volunteers.
"Soon, I will be going to India for a short trip where I will be finalizing some more projects for the Rehmat Sandhu Foundation.”
About her association with Anglicare, Ravinder says, "I'll be undertaking training in foster care with Anglicare... and of course we will collaboratively organise foster care work... I'll try to devote most of my time to the kids. The philosophy that drives Rehmat Sandhu Foundation is - We cannot help everyone, but everyone can help someone.”
Source: SBS
Ravinder feels, that at time she thinks that Rehmat will be back… keeping his memory alive by helping others is the best way to see him everyday. She sums up her feelings in a saying from Guru Granth Sahib (religious scripture of Sikhism) –
Nothing within myself is mine... Whatever there is, is Yours. If I surrender to You... what is already Yours, what does it cost me?
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